How to Mess With the IRS
|(Internal Revenue Service, an agency of the
government to whom Americans pay taxes on their salary.)
--Always put staples in the right hand corner.
Go ahead and put a down the whole right side. The extractors who remove the mail from the
envelopes have to take out any staples in the right side.
--Never arrange paperwork in the right order,
or even facing the right way. Put a few upside down and backwards. That way they
have to remove all your staples rearrange your paperwork and re-staple it (on the left
--Line the bottom of your envelope with
Elmer's glue and let it dry before you put in your forms, so that the automated opener
doesn't open it and the extractor has to open it by hand.
--If your very unfortunate and have to pay
taxes use a two or three party check.
--On top of paying with a three party check
pay one of the dollars you owe in cash. When an extractor receives cash, no matter how
small an amount, he has to take it to a special desk and fill out of few nasty forms.
--Write a little letter of appreciation. Any
letter received has to read and stamped regardless of what it is or what it's on.
--Write your letter on something misshapen and
unconventional. Like on the back of a Kroger sack.
--When you mail it, mail it in a big envelope
(even if its just a single EZi form). Big envelopes have to be torn and sorted differently
than regular business size ones. An added bonus to the big envelope is that they take
priority over other mail, so the workers can hurry up and deal with your mess.
--If you send 2 checks they'll have to staple
your unsightly envelope to your half destroyed form.
--Always put extra paper clips on your forms.
Any foreign fasteners or the like have to be removed and put away.
--Sign your name in ink on every page. Any
signature has to verified and then date stamped.
NOTE: These are just a few of the fun and
exciting things you can do with The Man. These methods are only recommended when you owe
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