Resume Bloopers

These are from actual resumes:

"Personal: I'm married with 9 children. I don't require prescription drugs.

"I am extremely loyal to my present firm, so please don't let them know of my immediate availability."

"Qualifications: I am a man filled with passion and integrity, and I can act on short notice. I'm a class act and do not come cheap."

"I intentionally omitted my salary history. I've made money and lost money. I've been rich and I've been poor. I prefer being rich."

"Note: Please don't misconstrue my 14 jobs as 'job-hopping'. I have never quit a job."

"Number of dependents: 40."

"Marital Status: Often. Children: Various."

139 votes, And 4300 Hits
	Rating:

.: Random 50 Funny Jokes

Yo mama's So Stupid	32 Rednecks	The Great Wiener Caper	Confessional Etiquette
Lawyer and Vulture	Virgin Trucker	Blonde On a Ledge	A manager walks into his office...
Questions Not To Ask In Foreign Lands	Close But No Cigar	Blonde Fired	Adventures in Disneyland
I'll Give You...	Confucious...Baseball	Never Seen A Priest	People Who Should've Won This Years Nobel Prize
Darn Crazy Kids	You Might Be A Redneck...Beer	Redneck...Ironing Board	Gold Digger
Doe a Deer	Lake Wannaswimma	Screwed, For Sure	Lake Wannaswimma
Genie-wine	The Leprechaun Of The Bathroom	Five Minutes to Midnight	American Divorce
Yo Mama's So Fat... World	Yo mamma's so retarded...	A lady walks into her doctors office ...	Signs You've Had Enough of the New Millenium
Nuns Should Beware San Francisco Buses	Why'd The Redneck?	Sleeping Blonde	Burnt Blonde Ears
Yo mama's so nasty, I came over and asked...	Blow in the Blonde's	Britney ain't no Barbie Doll	350 Pounder?
Abstinence	Blonde Fish Killer	Liberal Jokes	Oh My God!
Blonde, Santa, Pregnant Woman	Blonde Kidnapper	Ice Cream	The Chinese Workman
Yo Mama's So Fat.. Sits Around	Blonde Welfare