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Mama mia, what's a honeymoon?

 
    Two Italian virgins get married and go on their
honeymoon. However, they have no idea what they're supposed to do once they get to their
hotel room.
    The newlyweds decide to call the groom's mother and get some advice on what to do. The
mother says that they should sit on the bed together and snuggle with each other and
things should start to happen from there. The newlyweds start to do this but nothing else
happens.
    The groom calls his mother back to find out what to do next. She says they should take
their clothes off, get under the covers in bed and nature should takes its course. The
bride and groom take his mother's advice but still nothing.
    He calls his mother a third
time. Getting frustrated with the situation she says, "Listen, just take the biggest
thing you have and stick it in her hairiest thing!" and hangs up on him.
    A few minutes later, he reluctantly calls his mother back, "Well, I have my nose in her armpit. What do I do next?"

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